A.) I think it's going to rain, and I look for any excuse possible.
B.) I would like to take another day off to ease my aching muscles from their stair climbing episode last week.
C.) I'm discouraged because any good results abruptly stopped at age 40.
D.) ...I caught on fire today, burned most my shirt off, a couple inches of hair, and was fortunately saved of hospital worthy burns by an undergarment. I am now kind of shocky, and think anything too strenuous would be very unwise.
Actually it's kind of a trick question. You could argue your way to correctness if you chose anyone of A-C. But, you'd be most correct if you chose D.
And let me just tell you what goes through somebodies mind who is on fire. When people are yelling at them to 'Stop and drop', you want to smack them for idiocy. It just does not sound logical to lie down and take a nap at the moment. SOMETHING must be done, even if that something means running in a circle screaming "AM I ON FIRE?! AM I ON FIRE?!" Even when you know good and well you are on fire, because there's a sickening smell in your nostrils, and your skin feels as if it's melting.
But what is one supposed to do?!?
But what is one supposed to do?!?
I can't just whip off my shirt, because I have impressionable boys in the room, who would probably be less scarred to see their mother burn to death then they would to see their mother (who at least tried to breastfeed seven children) topless.
Even if I run to the other room to whip off my shirt, I can't figure out how to get it off without a flammable ball of flame (from my faithful aquanet) shooting off and starting the rest of the house on fire. Alright... (sigh) to be fully honest, I'm truly just vain enough to be worried about my hair. The house be hanged.
I also can't seem to coherently state to the girls that I need them to douse me with the sink hose. I forget the simplest of words during the best of times, let alone during a moment of flesh consuming death.
There was even a moment when the picture hanging in the hall (the one of Joan of Arc) seemed to be ironically laughing at my predicament.
There was even a moment when the picture hanging in the hall (the one of Joan of Arc) seemed to be ironically laughing at my predicament.
Those are the things that ran through my head. No flashbacks on the injustices I've done or been dealt throughout my life, no bright lights, no playbacks of happy or sad times, no regrets or longing for what I'll miss in the future. Nothing. Well, nothing except what I stated above. I'm a little disappointed in my shallowness. I had hoped that when it came right down to it, I would surprise myself. Alas, I'm still just me.
I've taken four ibuprofen, doused my back in aloe, gingerly replaced my sweatshirt (that unintentionally turned bikini) with a clean t-shirt, and gone to bed with lots of blankets to stop my shivering. I'm taking the rest of the day off, well except for the hair appointment at 2:30 to see what damage control they can do (one must pull themselves up by the bootstraps for such important occasions you know.)
And that catches you up with life in my world. All is well.
Much love,
Mom Aka - Katniss, 'The girl who was on fire'
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