"Dad, what kind of fish are these?"
"Chickenshit fish"
"What's a chickenshit fish?"
"Ones that keep eating my bait."
"Oh. ...I'm catching chickenshit too."
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Smiling is always so much better than the alternative.
And I've had many good reasons to smile this Sunday.
1. I passed an eighty year old lady riding her three wheeled bike to church- complete with a basket. On top of that, she was wearing an Easter bonnet. I think I need to know that lady.
2. Hydn is at the stage of asking what all the signs say that we pass on the road. He's also at the age of noticing anything out of the ordinary; like his beloved Sunday School teacher's hands. She happens to be missing a few fingers from an earlier accident. As we drove past a new business in town, with a newly erected sign, Hydn inquired as to what it said.
"It says, 'Nails 4U'."
"Oh." Then after we'd driven down the road awhile in quiet contemplation he added, "I think I'll tell my teacher bout that sign! She might could use them."
3. I was sitting on the couch reading scriptures in a new black and white striped dress (it's very flattering, if I do say so myself.) Calder walked in to practice the piano and noticed it. After the first two songs he turned to me and said,
"Hey Mom, you look really pretty in that new dress. I like it. It kinda reminds me of a zebra, or a referee... or an inmate."
I burst into several unladylike snorts,
"Calder, we're definitely going to have to work on a few skills before you begin any serious dating. You totally annihilated your compliment with the last sentence. But- thank you."
Ten minutes later he came back into the room and said,
"How about this? 'You look like romance... in static' ... is that better?"
Watch out ladies.
4. When all the kids come home this month Bert and I thought it might be fun for our family to sign up for a 5K mud run. Bert told me that he'd begun his intensive training regime while staying over at work.
"Well how did it go?"
"Pretty good! I ran at least 50 yards before I fell to my knees and called it a day."
5. Taken from Cache's most recent letter:
"Me and my companion were in the middle of nowhere and he said I should ride a kwaay ( a water buffalo) So we both got off our bikes and got one to come over. I jumped on and then it took off running down the hill. I fell off it pretty hard. He was then later calling me a kwaay ( it's the equivalent to dumb a--)."
6. Taken from Justin's most recent letter:
"As I was about to begin writing this letter our red-haired, maybe 8yo, itsy-bitsy neighbor girl next door came knocking at the door. She had her sunday dress on, her notebook and a pen and asked me to tell her how she could serve us... I asked if this was for achievement days (and I was super proud that I remembered the term so well off the bat, but now that I'm typing it, I'm again doubting myself- was it activity girls? accomplishment days?) but she said that her Dad had suggested doing it and so far the other neighbors had her move the bikes from the rain etc. So there I was trying to rack my brain for something she could do- service is kind of hard for a bunch of college students I guess- homework? laundry? My eyes finally found the onion that one of my roommates bought but didn't use and had grown roots and as a joke I put it in a mason jar on the window sill and it's been growing green stalks surprisingly. I told her to plant it- or give it water- or something and she made me sign her notebook and told me that her mom could probably cook with it. So we're one onion plant down-"
1. I passed an eighty year old lady riding her three wheeled bike to church- complete with a basket. On top of that, she was wearing an Easter bonnet. I think I need to know that lady.
2. Hydn is at the stage of asking what all the signs say that we pass on the road. He's also at the age of noticing anything out of the ordinary; like his beloved Sunday School teacher's hands. She happens to be missing a few fingers from an earlier accident. As we drove past a new business in town, with a newly erected sign, Hydn inquired as to what it said.
"It says, 'Nails 4U'."
"Oh." Then after we'd driven down the road awhile in quiet contemplation he added, "I think I'll tell my teacher bout that sign! She might could use them."
3. I was sitting on the couch reading scriptures in a new black and white striped dress (it's very flattering, if I do say so myself.) Calder walked in to practice the piano and noticed it. After the first two songs he turned to me and said,
"Hey Mom, you look really pretty in that new dress. I like it. It kinda reminds me of a zebra, or a referee... or an inmate."
I burst into several unladylike snorts,
"Calder, we're definitely going to have to work on a few skills before you begin any serious dating. You totally annihilated your compliment with the last sentence. But- thank you."
Ten minutes later he came back into the room and said,
"How about this? 'You look like romance... in static' ... is that better?"
Watch out ladies.
4. When all the kids come home this month Bert and I thought it might be fun for our family to sign up for a 5K mud run. Bert told me that he'd begun his intensive training regime while staying over at work.
"Well how did it go?"
"Pretty good! I ran at least 50 yards before I fell to my knees and called it a day."
5. Taken from Cache's most recent letter:
"Me and my companion were in the middle of nowhere and he said I should ride a kwaay ( a water buffalo) So we both got off our bikes and got one to come over. I jumped on and then it took off running down the hill. I fell off it pretty hard. He was then later calling me a kwaay ( it's the equivalent to dumb a--)."
6. Taken from Justin's most recent letter:
"As I was about to begin writing this letter our red-haired, maybe 8yo, itsy-bitsy neighbor girl next door came knocking at the door. She had her sunday dress on, her notebook and a pen and asked me to tell her how she could serve us... I asked if this was for achievement days (and I was super proud that I remembered the term so well off the bat, but now that I'm typing it, I'm again doubting myself- was it activity girls? accomplishment days?) but she said that her Dad had suggested doing it and so far the other neighbors had her move the bikes from the rain etc. So there I was trying to rack my brain for something she could do- service is kind of hard for a bunch of college students I guess- homework? laundry? My eyes finally found the onion that one of my roommates bought but didn't use and had grown roots and as a joke I put it in a mason jar on the window sill and it's been growing green stalks surprisingly. I told her to plant it- or give it water- or something and she made me sign her notebook and told me that her mom could probably cook with it. So we're one onion plant down-"
Friday, April 4, 2014
Maddie's March 2014
In which I read a long good book, got a mouse..forgot to water the
mouse, went to museums in Dallas, went to an adorable circus, enjoyed
spring, enjoyed the thunderstorms, went to youth conference, and
stuff...
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance - Uncle Calvin
No amount of coaxing could convince him to leave his post atop the storm shelter.
He'd packed his valuables and practically dared those storms to come his way!
He also begged us for company - I imagine it gets kinda lonely being the lone storm spotter at 6 AM.
We weren't near as vigilant as he'd hoped we'd be.
He boldly carried on without us - always keeping those valuables close at hand:
A tube of chapstick.
A jacket.
His jar of money.
His pistol.
His dead grasshopper.
And his favorite duct taped sword.
But the storms are past now.
And we're all alive.
Well, except for the grasshopper.
He's still dead.
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