Dear Justin and Cache,

Here's your daily update! It's mainly about me. It's that I'm not going to walk my normal five miles today. Would you like to take a guess why? How about a multiple choice for you to choose from?
A.) I think it's going to rain, and I look for any excuse possible.

B.) I would like to take another day off to ease my aching muscles from their stair climbing episode last week.

C.) I'm discouraged because any good results abruptly stopped at age 40.

D.) ...I caught on fire today, burned most my shirt off, a couple inches of hair, and was fortunately saved of hospital worthy burns by an undergarment. I am now kind of shocky, and think anything too strenuous would be very unwise.

Actually it's kind of a trick question. You could argue your way to correctness if you chose anyone of A-C. But, you'd be most correct if you chose D.

And let me just tell you what goes through somebodies mind who is on fire. When people are yelling at them to 'Stop and drop', you want to smack them for idiocy. It just does not sound logical to lie down and take a nap at the moment. SOMETHING must be done, even if that something means running in a circle screaming "AM I ON FIRE?! AM I ON FIRE?!" Even when you know good and well you are on fire, because there's a sickening smell in your nostrils, and your skin feels as if it's melting.
But what is one supposed to do?!?

I can't just whip off my shirt, because I have impressionable boys in the room, who would probably be less scarred to see their mother burn to death then they would to see their mother (who at least tried to breastfeed seven children) topless.

Even if I run to the other room to whip off my shirt, I can't figure out how to get it off without a flammable ball of flame (from my faithful aquanet) shooting off and starting the rest of the house on fire. Alright... (sigh) to be fully honest, I'm truly just vain enough to be worried about my hair. The house be hanged.

I also can't seem to coherently state to the girls that I need them to douse me with the sink hose. I forget the simplest of words during the best of times, let alone during a moment of flesh consuming death.
There was even a moment when the picture hanging in the hall (the one of Joan of Arc) seemed to be ironically laughing at my predicament.

Those are the things that ran through my head. No flashbacks on the injustices I've done or been dealt throughout my life, no bright lights, no playbacks of happy or sad times, no regrets or longing for what I'll miss in the future. Nothing. Well, nothing except what I stated above. I'm a little disappointed in my shallowness. I had hoped that when it came right down to it, I would surprise myself. Alas, I'm still just me.

I've taken four ibuprofen, doused my back in aloe, gingerly replaced my sweatshirt (that unintentionally turned bikini) with a clean t-shirt, and gone to bed with lots of blankets to stop my shivering. I'm taking the rest of the day off, well except for the hair appointment at 2:30 to see what damage control they can do (one must pull themselves up by the bootstraps for such important occasions you know.)

And that catches you up with life in my world. All is well.

Much love,

Mom Aka - Katniss, 'The girl who was on fire'.

Santa better put a fire under it...

These were on Santa's list...

Apparently the countdown wasn't going
quick enough.

I'm wondering if I should tell them how much easier it is
when the poles are made of aluminum, and thirty pounds lighter.

Or if I should mention that it's easier to balance
when a beaver hasn't gnawed off your tip.
-
Eh- why ruin it.
They'll be stronger, more agile, and
10 times more creative than that kid in the magazine.
And, if I can make a return,
I'll be thirty dollars richer.

Total Awesomeness!

That's me!
That's all nine of us!
Together in China.
So cool.

It takes up half our lives - it's only fair it takes up half the posts.

More School.

I don't know who took this,
or why Calder's smiling;
because it looks like he's doing math,
and math's no laughing matter,
especially when he comes to ask for help,
which is what it looks like he's doing.
He's probably laughing because he figured it out before me,
...which I'm sure was my plan all along.

Touching, no?

Again, I don't know who took this, but it's Maddie's.
And she probably didn't want to be in the picture,
because reading on the tramp makes your hair stand on end.

Wednesday's and Jesse's art lessons are our favorites.

Any guesses on the painting depicted below?
First name of the artist is even there for a hint.

How about if two famous paintings,
that are usually hung side by side,
-but are by different artists-
are pictured together?

Now?

Gainsborough's, 'Blue Boy'
and 'Pinkie,' by Lawrence.

Next week, new lesson.

A Cezanne still life.

And now we're back to Russia.
This is our Napoleon stance.
Last year in college, an art professor asked his class if they could tell by the stance of the distant person in the painting, who it was. (Did that even make sense?)
Nobody could. Justin finally raised his hand and said, "That's Napoleon." He was right.
I'd made him do that pose all day long, many years ago. Somewhere out there, I'd like to think an art professor is very impressed
by my teaching methods, of trivial facts.
On our Napoleon hats, before we'd folded them up,
we'd drawn our very best Russian farms.
And then we burned them.And in the process, learned about the 'Scorched Earth Policy'
that the Russians implemented on their farms
in the War of 1812, to wipe out Napoleon.
(not to be confused with the American war of the same name.)
We couldn't just leave Napoleon there, so we followed him out all the way.
And after listening to Tchaikovsky 1812 Overture for twenty minutes,
in your Napoleonic stance,
with your Napoleonic hat,
and one foot in the water in the loo...I promise that you won't forget Napoleon was
defeated/feet-ed at the Battle of WaterlooBy this time our brains were a little overloaded on Czar's, Emperor's,

war practices, and such - so we took a break.
And detoured into some other things Russia is famous for:
like Ballet (wayyy harder for Pal than he thought)
and Gymnastics
And then we came back hard, beginning with Karl Marx,
moving to Alexander II, Anastasia, Rasputin, Lenin, Stalin
(Wouldn't you know that just as we studied Hemophilia and the Romanov's,
a friend of ours, who suffers from Hemophilia, would be kind enough
to have a bladder bleed for us to discuss?!
Crazy coincidences...),
Sputnik, Gagarin, the American Space Race counterparts,
Khrushchev, Castro, and all points in between.
And then we got to the movie part.
Lots and lots of movies.
Movies like:
Rasputin
Anastasia
Animal Farm
Sound of Music (Beginning part of WWII)
Fiddler on the Roof
The Gathering Storm (Churchill and WWII)
Night Crossing (Berlin Wall)
The Right Stuff (Space Race)
13 Days (Cold War and Arms Race)
Blast from the Past
Etc...
Always before the movie, we learn the concept.
This is our 'Arm's Race' - Jesse and Calder were kind enough to help us out.
Team Maddie and Calder?
Not so great at the Arms Race...
A net, some acorn bullets, and a thorny bush whip.

Team Jesse and Pal?
Easy winners, with stink bombs

Poison darts

Jaw Bone sword

Bucket of boiling tar,
and 'dirty' grenades.
Again, easy winners.

Next up, we are trying to memorize some of the elements found in Russia,
or discovered by Russians, and have them in post it notes on the window-
for other kinds of races, and games.

And that brings us to the 'Domino Theory' of communism.
The fan represents the domino theory-

The balloons represent countries

The kids represent either...

Truman's 'containment policy',

by pushing the communists north of the 38th parallel in Korea,

which wasn't so successful.

Or MacArthur's
opposing philosophy...

And now, we are finally caught up to date.
We only have a few days left.
I will miss Russia. It marks a turning point.
Next unit I will only have Pal learning with me,
as Maddie's decided to begin a trial period
of scholar studies on her own.
Pal and I would appreciate somebody loaning us
a couple of kids to take her place.
She may be ready to be on her own,
but we're not so sure that we are.

HURRY!

Come visit me, quick!

My bathrooms are all sterilized.
My outdoors are neat and tidy.
My bread is baking.
We put up our fall decorations.
And it's warm but overcast.
Conditions are perfect!
But I only guarantee them as long as it takes the bread to bake.
It gives you a two hour time frame.
Because then I'll have dishes.
And Bert's weekend laundry.
And Hydn will be up and whirling.
And I'll find out my bread is burnt.
And I'll be tired of the less than original decor.

...I don't think you're going to make it.

I'll share them now, instead:
The pictures on this table are my favorite. I tore them
out of some yard sale Halloween books.
The one below says:
Cinderella Skeleton, Ignoring the thump of her footless stump, Reached her coach and cried, "Away! I must be home by break of day!" They raced pell-mell past the palace gate; The prince kept pleading, "Lday, wait!" In his hand, a foot - in his throat, a lump.
The other one is just a black and white sketch of two tiny witches and a pumpkin.
It says:
They had just moved into a pumpkin, lying orange and green in a field. Pa witch cut little windows and a door. Ma Witch helped scoop out the slippery insides. And Sam Witch played nearby with an acorn.
Then we found this darling scrapbook paper.
It was too cute to put in a book,
so the girls and I modge podged it on canvas.
We took the leftover scraps and hung them from this dead branch.
We're pretty pleased with ourselves. We voted that our fourth favorite Halloween decoration,
was this 'reminder' to a Halloween party that a friend gave us last year.
It's a ceramic finger with a black ribbon tied around it.
Pretty darn cute.
Calder was way ahead of us in the redecorating stage.
He took Cache and Justin's old room and made it his.
I just haven't put the pictures up yet:

The final product
is now completely, 'Calder'.

He also helped Pal remake his side of the old room,
to make it completely 'Pal'.

Maddie redid some pots for the kitchen so they can draw on them.
Right now they have spiders, webs, and 'Boo' on them.
But they've contained all sorts of messages, phone numbers,
and personal statements.
Meanwhile, I found some pretty sweet bargain items at the thrift stores.
Each had a price tag of thirty five dollars, less, or free:

SCORE!
I'm just so in love.

The kids are almost as enamored with their updates in the village.
You're supposed to take note of the fine workmanship of the arch below,
of the new pottery, and Hy and Pal's addition.

We feel almost Frank Lloyd Wright -ish.