Monday, January 26, 2015

Dear Calder,

  This week you have once again highly entertained me.  Highly.  So, one of the horses we are boarding passed away on Friday.  It was too wet, slick and dark for Dad to bury him after work, so he said I would have to do it the next day when the ground dried out.  Dad then gave me a lesson in how to run the digging apparatus of the backhoe.  I listened a bit skeptically.  The next day I waited until the sun came out and proceeded with the burial process.   Here is my text to Dad Saturday morning:
"The good news is we got the horses fed!
The bad news is I got the backhoe stuck for over an hr. last night taking the horse to the plot.
The good news is I got it unstuck this morning!
The bad news is I suck at digging holes.
The good news is you have a decent 3' by 3' by 2' head start for whenever you decide to finish it!
No horse burial deserves more than 4 hours of my time.
The coyotes could make faster work of it."
  So, even though it's Dad's weekend to work, he took Saturday afternoon and trekked home the 2 hours it takes to drive here, spent an hour digging a hole I was supposed to dig, then grabbed some supper and trekked back to the three farm calls that were waiting for him in Clarksville.  Why?  Because some animals just need a grave, especially when they're somebody's pet.
  Anyway, I felt really bad I hadn't been able to get it done.  Really bad.  The only hole Hy and I were able to dig, with hours worth of effort, was barely big enough for Easel  (and believe me, I was tempted as many times as he got in the way of the swinging shovel.)  As a side note, Hy ran the foot pedals swinging the bucket for me.  I had my hands full with the 15 gillion bars and buttons, and trying to find a non existent owners manual so I could put down the emergency break that was nowhere to be found - because all the little pictures TOLD me to -and that I would DIE if I didn't.  And, do you know how very disconcerting it is sitting in the drivers seat of a 4 ton vehicle that keeps burping and bucking you out of your seat?) So anyway, back to Dad digging,  while he dug I went and picked up Paladin from a campout.  I told him about my ineptness and he tried to reassure, "Don't worry, remember how long it took Calder to get the hang of it when he buried Grandpa's horse?  And then his hole wasn't very deep either.  Remember how the legs still stuck out?"
"WHAT?!  ...the legs still stuck out??  Did you try to bend them?  I don't get it.  ...(pause).... Don't tell me you just piled dirt on top of the legs and didn't tell me!!*:-O surprise"
Pal looked a bit squeamish - not that I would mind any of this, remember, I think coyotes and buzzards are put on this earth for a reason - but the thought of 4 hooves sticking out like trees from the ground gave me the shudders.  Can you imagine just stumbling upon that sometime?  "Ohhhh Pal!  Have you checked that grave recently?  What if all the rain has eroded the soil and there are four horse hooves sticking out of the ground and somebody sees?!  Come on, lead me to where it is so we can see what needs to be done."
  When we got to the grave site of the horse YOU spent hours digging for Grandpa (far away from the current one Dad was working on), -And this is where I pause to laugh again (I laughed so hard the first time I had to sit down on the wet leaves and grass.)- THIS is what we found:
Seriously?  I have never been that close to dying from laughter - ever!  How could you not notice the head?!  Your grave must have been only as big as a cat!  He couldn't have sifted up through the loose dirt THAT much.  Oh gosh, Calder.... seeing that mouth gaping out of the ground (with the outline of four legs bent under the ground nearby) just about did your old mother in.  But, I get it now, truly I do-  a grave the size of a horse is no easy feat on your first backhoe digging experience, and you are forgiven for near manslaughter.
Much love,
Mom