"Hello?"

"This is a recording for Eastern Bryan County-
An armed and dangerous suspect is loose in your area.
Please take all safety precautions necessary;
lock your doors, stay inside."
-Click-

Not a big deal.
Unless it's late.
Unless you live in the middle of nowhere.
Unless your husband's not home that night.
Unless your adrenaline's in overdrive,
your hearts already pounding,
and you're smack dab in the middle
of sharing the creepiest movie ever made with your kids.
-and you'd been wondering if you were going to go to hell for it anyway.

Then, suddenly, ...it's a bigger deal.
Kind of like a deal on 'Red Bull'.

"Calder get your bow and arrow.
Cache, where does Dad keep the ammo?
Do you remember how to load the black powder gun?
That should do some damage, right?
Jesse, Maddie, Pal,- there's a soft spot of ground out back, start digging!"

Well, at least those were my thoughts.
Really I just ducked under the blanket,
sent the kids into the dark night to lock the doors themselves,
and called a neighbor for reassurance.

All's well now.
Suspect apprehended,
no shallow graves necessary.